thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
