i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
