You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
