I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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