he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
