ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
