I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
