Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
