Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
