Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
