Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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