He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She needs sedatives and a leash
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
