Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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