it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize