so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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