the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
