I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The air was thick with penises
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
