At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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