And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
