and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize