Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
