this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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