doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize