it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your penis caused this!
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