my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
