Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
