in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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