i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
