Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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