So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
