Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
