I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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