honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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