so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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