When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
