I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
