she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
