I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
