Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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