Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So vagazzling was a success
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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