my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
