gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
