To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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