When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize