She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
