1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
