Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
