Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
