i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
