Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
