You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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