Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She announced her abortion via fbk
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
