i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
