so explain again why im purple
no
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you had me at cake vodka
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
