she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
