i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
