do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
