honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
