you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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