I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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