You made me cry and you don't even care
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
