I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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