some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
