yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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