I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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