My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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