Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
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