I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
