so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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